Mind your A’s:

It was a lazy cold evening and all the boys of our society were bored playing outside. Moreover it was getting dark so I suggested all come to our place and play indoors. “Yeah!!!!” All yelled at once and immediately everyone barged in my living room. One of the reason why kids enjoy at friends place is that they get to play with the toys of their friends. So there they were all the boys sitting in the living area and started to put together the pieces of the crane model of mech-o-tec. This was the newest game of my elder son and he loved flaunting it to all his friends. I was enjoying hearing them discuss and work together to get it fixed. Observing your young ones play around is a better time pass rather than being glued to the idiot box, I always look upto such rare occasions as I am a working mother in a Corporate and my kids spend most of their time at the day care centre. All was fine and the kids were engrossed in the act, when suddenly my younger one yelled, ‘A…..that’s mine’…the other boys gave him a glance and got back to their work. Again he screamed in a louder stern voice, ‘ A…that’s mine, don’t you understand’. He was now being a spoil sport by stopping the game. I carried him inside the bedroom and told him that is a very wrong way of putting across a point. I had witnessed this aggressive behaviour of his earlier and thought it will be fine as he grows up. Wondered where he learnt all the language from.

Later that evening their father came home late for dinner exhausted like always. And like everyday, the boys jumped all over him as soon as he entered for the cell phone so that they could play the car racing game. Since I refrain from downloading unwanted apps on my smart phone, its only him they turn to for such luxuries. Within 2 minutes there’s a quarrel on- who plays first, and in the next 3 minutes there another quarrel on the first one not lending the phone on time!!!...so at the next minute my husband looses his temper that he hoped not to throw on the kids and yells, A- both of you don’t you understand, I want some peace!!!’ …now I don’t really know how much of that word they understand, but I got the answer to the question that was bothering me for some while. Now, I got to know that there was nothing wrong with my child. It was not him who had to be corrected; rather it was us who need to be correct morally all the time when we are with kids. Kids mimic, they copy and they learn from us all the time by observing and hearing us. So, it was time for us to correct and mind our A’s……

Spare the rod and Spoil the child ??????

Kids we know are full of vivid imaginations. One fine evening my 3 and half year son was pretend playing a superman game making my dupatta his superman wingsuit and a gun in his hand. Lol, little did he know that superman never carries a gun. Alike a typical mom I was behind him to finish his meal. No different than any other kid he was throwing all kind of tantrums on me for eating. I was chasing him from bedroom to kitchen, under the dining table to the corner of my living room’s area palm.  Eventually I lost my patience and smacked him on his back. He dint have a morsel after that, but cried and slept.      Sitting on the sofa my Mother-in-law was watching our peek-a-boo game but chose to be a silent observer at that point of time. Later she sat me down and asked – “Spare the rod & spoil the child” is that what you believe in ? and so did you raise your hand on him …….I was unanswerable to her as I was feeling guilty about what I did. She said, gone are the days when parents use to hit the kids to punish them. And I realized why she said this.     It doesn't necessarily mean, that a child if not beaten will turn out to be an undisciplined and unruly individual. There are many other ways in which a child can be made disciplined. Then why should one take beating as the only option ? The child might not even open up with his/her problems if the parents take physical methods for bringing him on the right path.       Children learn by observation. If you smack in front of a child, you teach them that hitting is Ok. Perhaps, later in life they will continue this behavior, and even as children, when someone disagrees with them. Making the child understand his mistake and telling him how to rectify it will be much more valuable.      There are many other ways of punishment.  For example, if the child is an avid sportsperson or a super hero fan , as punishment, his/her parents can ban him/her from doing sports or watching his favorite show until he/she has learnt the lesson. I feel that this is also as effective as hitting the child, although this is a way of causing less heartache to the parent.        To end of, instilling moral values in a child and guiding him/her onto the right path in life should be a parent's top priority. Despite all the pain and heartache from punishing the child, parents would eventually be able to see their child grow up to become someone who is morally upright and sensible.So its sensible enough to ‘Spoil the rod and spare the child’.Does this argument end here ??

Blog ByShilpa GodiRegional HeadDots 'n' Tots Playschool

A Beautiful Story

A man was an avid Gardner..
Saw a small butterfly laying a few eggs in one of the pots in his garden. Since that day he looked at the egg with ever growing curiosity and eagerness.
The egg started to move and shake a little. He was excited to see a new life coming up right in front of his eyes. He spent hours watching the egg now.

The egg started to expand and develop cracks... A tiny head and antennae started to come out ever so slowly.

The man's excitement knew no bounds. He got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out.
He saw the struggle of the tender pupa and couldn't resist his urge to HELP.
He went and got a tender forceps to help the egg break, a nip here a nip there to help the struggling life.
And LOL
The pupa was out the man was ecstatic!
He waited now each day for the pupa to grow and fly like a beautiful butterfly,

But Alas that never happened
the larvae pupa had an oversized head and kept crawling along in the pot for the full 4 weeks but couldn't fly...

Depressed the man went to his botanist friend and asked the reason.
His friend told him the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send blood to its wingsand the head push helps the head to remain small so that the tender wings can support it through its 4 week life cycle...
In his eagerness to help the man destroyed a beautiful life!

Struggles help all of us, that's why a wee bit of effort goes a long way to develop our strength to face life's difficulties!

As parents, we sometimes go too far trying to help and protect our kids from life's harsh realities and disappointments. We don't want our kids to struggle like we did.
But Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon says that over-protected children are more likely to struggle in relationships and with challenges.

We're sending our kids the message that they're not capable of helping themselves.
To quote clinical psychologist Dr. Wendy 's
Moral:
"It  is  Our  Job  to  prepare  Our  Children  for  the  Road &  Not  prepare  the  road
for  Our  Children..."

Contributed By-

Shilpa Godi

Regional Head